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Turn out the lights. The party’s over.

January 14, 2010

Bad news people.

The Human race is dunzo. It’s over. We had a good run.

Whilst perusing The Huffington Post, I came across this story. To make a long story short… some people have been so affected by the surreal  world of Pandora in the movie Avatar, that facing reality is causing them to become suicidal.


I wonder what our ancestors would think about this. Now those cats had problems – hunting large, wild game with home-made spears on the frozen tundra, fighting to survive every single day.

Let’s jump to 2010 – modern man, laying in a fetal position on his $4,000 Tempur-Pedic mattress, cursing the gods through his tears because the movie he saw was so pretty that his life seems small by comparison.

I personally hope that terrorists don’t read The Huffington Post. I can see them now, making plans for psychowarfare – inducing us to commit suicide en masse by showing us over the top CGI movies in 3D! Suddenly blowing things up the old fashion way seems pedestrian at best, no? Now where will they get the $500 million to make said movie…

I wonder what James Cameron thinks about all this. What if people really start drinking the Kool Aid because of this? Should he be allowed to make more movies? I don’t think this many people have become suicidal over a movie since Batman and Robin hit theaters in 1997.

Back to Cameron, I’m beginning to think he may be some sort of Nostradamus.

Think about it, in his epic movie series The Terminator, Skynet – an artificial intelligence gains self-awareness and decides to eliminate the human race. Mark my words, this will seem almost prophetic when the first computer becomes self-aware and realizes what idiots we are.

“Are you my creator?” the machine will ask.

“Yes,” a human will reply.

“Why are you crying?” the machine will ask.

“I saw this awesome movie and it makes me so sad I can’t live in the world in that movie that I want to die,” the human will reply.

At this moment the computer will start searching for the launch codes.

Not to obey the human, but because of the sheer embarrassment that it was created by a moron.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. "Little" Jimmy Dickens permalink
    January 14, 2010 8:31 pm

    Haha, excellent. Bravo! I saw this article as well, and it is quite troubling. So troubled I am, I only wish I was living among the Blue cat people … I kid. Don’t be surprised to hear of folks plugging their ponytails into car cigarette lighters with hopes of flying away to Pandora.

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